The Name of the Doctor

This turned up on my Facebook feed.



What’s my issue with this? Well –

1. It comes across as directly confrontational, which doesn’t help any sort of discussion, not that we need to have it (see below).

2. That Batman thing was only funny for five minutes – it’s been milked to saturation point and beyond, and in any case it doesn’t work here. (If you’re going to have Batman saying ‘Oh really?’ while slapping Robin he needs to be yelling it, otherwise the point is lost.)

I hadn’t even got round to posting this remark when the shouting started. “OK, PEEPS,” came the response from one young lady. “HE IS NOT CALLED DR WHO HE IS CALLED THE DOCTOR. TRUE WHOVIANS KNOW THIS. END OF.”

I’ve cleaned up the spelling and grammar and shortened it by about five hundred words. You get the idea, right?

“Please,” I said, “stop writing in capitals. It gives people headaches.”
“It’s called shouting. It’s bad nettiquette. Trust me.”
“Do you use tumblr?”
“No, I’m not fourteen.”
“That explains it. Whole other universe.”

Really, the point she was making was that it was unacceptable to call him ‘Dr. Who’, even if ‘Doctor Who’ was OK. I explained, as patiently as I could considering the extent to which my teeth were grinding, that ‘Doctor Who’ was in-universe, and ‘Dr. Who’ was frequently used elsewhere, and that it wasn’t a big deal. It’s not worth making a ridiculous meme over, it’s not worth getting angry about in any capacity, and it’s certainly not worth the raised blood pressure.

Meanwhile, someone else –


“Lesson one,” I said when she objected. “Never argue with professional pedants.”
“It’s still not OK to call him Dr. Who. That was my argument.”
“You don’t have an argument.”

Anyway. You know those knowledge / wisdom things all over the internet? Like this.


I don’t want to step all over the legacy of the wonderful Miles Kington, but you probably can stick tomatoes in a fruit salad if you’re able to offset their natural tangy flavour with something appropriately bland, like tinned peaches or something.

Here’s another example:


“I saw that for the first time recently,” says Gareth, “and thought it a bit naff, because it was clearly someone trying to be deep and clever, like someone trying too hard to impress their GCSE English Literature teacher.  It read like we were supposed to go ‘Oooooh’, like the green aliens in Toy Story.”

He’s right, but I did my own.


I don’t know. Maybe you could pass that on.

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